All checked in.

I’m in the hospital going through tests.  Looks like I will spend the remainder of the week here.  Pray for me and my family at this time.  I might be going in so they can operate on the part of my body that has the shunt.

Prayers Needed

My health hasn’t been great lately.  I’m having problems with the pressure in my head again.  I shaved my head today and will be going in for an MRI and a spinal tap at some point this week so we can figure out what is going on.  Please pray that God guides my doctors at this time.

New Header

The trail riders are busy heading into town since the Rodeo Houston activities start this weekend!  Opening night is Tuesday and I’ll be there with my favorite sister and our buddy George.  I felt the need to bring in Rodeo season with a new header.

Plans

Plans change.  This is a concept I apparently have yet to grasp.  Though I thought I was ok with being sick and changing my plans, I don’t think I had mentally adjusted.  Getting my Bachelor’s degree was still the ultimate measure of success.  I have continually put my life on hold since I’ve always had plans to move away and go to school. Well, I’m changing things up.  I’m going to throw myself into life here and now.  So what if I move in 3 months?  I should at least try to build relationships and live in the time that I have here.School isn’t being put on hold but I’m trying to keep things in perspective.  So what if it takes me ten years to finish school?  So what if I graduated from highschool at 16 and I’m still in college?  I’m seriously considering looking at the University of St. Thomas here in Houston.  It would allow me to take my time with school and keep working.  (I actually really like my job right now.)

The people in my life who love me will love me no matter what.  I mean, there have been some pretty hilarious brain damage moments so far.  I have friends who I wouldn’t even know if I had left for Oklahoma several years ago.  All this time I’ve convinced myself that I was happy with whatever God threw my way, but I wasn’t.  I was lying to myself.  I realized this as I was crying on our back porch and talking to my mom this weekend.

This whole post feels totally jumbled.  Then again, that is kind of how my thoughts are right now.  If I really do get involved with church, focus on working, and wait for my brain to heal, there are so many great things before me.  It excites me!  I’m ready to live life.

And on that note, I’m going back to bed.  I’m exhausted!  It is a day off for me and all this working and stuff is tiring my damaged brain out.  Today, I have no plans and that is awesome.

6 things that are weird about me

I went and got myself tagged by Rob.  I am exhausted from working and being sick this week so I don’t have the energy to write to post about non-Baptist Baptists I was going to write.  I guess I will save that fun for another day.  I’m going to cheat a little since I did this about two months ago and I’m lacking the creativity to do the whole list over again…

1. I don’t eat seafood of any kind. I like the taste of it; I don’t like the idea of eating worms. (The FDA allows so many worms per square inch in our seafood.) That thought alone is enough to make me gag when trying to consume seafood.

2. My head is lopsided thanks to a shunt that was placed in my brain. Thankfully, I have very thick, very curly hair so you can’t tell unless my head is shaved for a medical procedure, or my hair is wet.

3. I was once kicked out of The Alamo. After the person I was with took a picture inside, we were asked to leave the premises. There was a Texas Ranger there who was willing to escort us out. The Alamo is considered a sacred resting place, which is why taking pictures inside is forbidden. I knew the rules and felt guilty at the time (even though I did not take the picture). My friends and I now look back on it and laugh.

4. Spinal taps are uncomfortable, painful, dreadful things. But I’d rather have ten spinal taps than one MRI. I’m terrified of MRIs which isn’t good since I have a rare neurological disorder and doctors like looking at my brain. In order to have an MRI done, I have to be sedated, by IV and given anti-anxiety medication orally. It is a big ordeal that pretty much leaves me knocked out for two days after the procedure.

5. At 5’10” I’m too tall for normal length jeans and too short for tall jeans. I usually have to buy tall jeans and have them hemmed.

6. I love bugs, but I’m deathly afraid of cockroaches. I will gladly hold and observe ladybugs, beetles, grasshoppers, and crickets. But if I see a cockroach ten feet away from me in the same room I’ll run out of the room screaming at the top of my lungs. Why I possess this fear, I do not know. Trust me, it is utterly inconvenient since I live in south Texas.

Make Yourself Known

Who is the “secret admirer” who sent me a dozen red roses and a box of chocolates today?

Thank you.

uh-oh

I think I might be the father of Anna Nicole’s baby.

still alive and kicking

Well my weekend (the one where I got in a car accident and got a kidney stone) ended by me shattering our front window about an hour before my parents came home. I’ve got skills. Mad skills.

At least I’ve had music to get me through it. (Music and Rob, who I totally called and he let me bitch to him about life and stuff.) Rufus Wainwright is even more talented than his father and I’m totally loving his stuff right now. “The Art Teacher” is such an amazing song. His voice is haunting but at the same time calming.

I had an amazing trip to the ER this week. My head was killing me (low pressure right now) so I headed off. It was packed. They had me on a stretcher in the hallway. I was just parked there when my favorite doctor happened to walk by. (He’s the head of the ER.) Our conversation went like this:

Dr: Hey! I know you.

Me: Hi Dr.

Dr: High or low pressure?

Me: low

Dr.: What do you want?

Me: 6 of morphine, 12.5 of phenergan and a script for liquid lortab.

Dr.: You got it.

He walked away at that point to write the order and convince the nurse he really did know my case and it was ok to ship me out of there so quickly. (Usually they run a head CT and stuff like that to cover their butts.) This doctor has spent so much time with me in the past discussing my case. He really does know me. I even saw him on Christmas Day.

During our stay at the ER the hospital lost a person and found her (which was interesting). It was kind of a surreal ER trip. The ER can be a strange place.

I’m still dealing with bad head and ovarian pain but I parted ways with my kidney stone so I’m doing much better. I was even able to work half a day yesterday. Today I got up, played with the dogs, cleaned up the kitchen, signed for a few deliveries and made banana bread. So now I go to nap and think all about the friends I should be calling back. (Eggert, you make the top of the list so when I start making phone calls, it will be to you.)

Love you guys for being so patient and understanding with me!

“Sounds like we picked the perfect weekend to leave the country!”

I hate being an adult.  No, I don’t hate it.  I think I despise it with every bone in my body.  Why is it that for the first 20 years of your life (and only ten you can actually remember) all you want to do is grow up?  You spend your days longing to be older.  And then for the other 60 years that you live you finally appreciate how nice it is to be a kid.

I had to be an adult this weekend.  My parents are in Cozumel, Mexico with some friends.  I’m really glad they take the time to enjoy weekends alone together.  I really think it strengthens their relationship and our family as a whole.

They left Thursday at around 11am.  Thursday at 1pm I was in a car accident.  Yes, it is my second in two weeks.  Unlike the last one, this one was actually my fault.  I took my foot off the break and rolled into a guy at a red light.  My car didn’t suffer any damage.  His wouldn’t have either except for my super sharp license plate screws.  They managed to punch two tiny little holes in his bumper.  That was all.  No scratching or anything like that. 

He seemed like a nice guy and we exchanged information.  He said he probably wouldn’t even file a claim or anything because of the time it would take.  Friday night I get a call from my insurance company.  He is claiming injuries.  I asked him like ten times if he was ok and he said he was.  He was on his way back to work.  I don’t like when people are dishonest.  We are fighting it out through our respective insurance agents.

That was how the weekend started.  Friday night we had a few friends over for some grilling, hot-tubbing and a bonfire.  It was fun.  I didn’t get to bed until 4am Saturday morning.  At 6am I was awake and in excruciating pain.  My lower back was killing me.  I have been having major problems with cysts on my ovaries (sorry if that is too much information) so I decided to take 4 Advil, grab the heating pad and try to fall asleep.  Two hours later I was up and we were heading out to breakfast.  I was still in pain but I assumed it would get better as the day went on.

     I was wrong.

Sarah (my sister) and I left breakfast early so that I could head back home to get in bed.  On the way home I was in so much pain I threw up in the car.  (Not fun!)  I crawled in bed with my heating pad and just couldn’t get comfortable.  I tried.  I took some Vicodin and waited for it to kick in.  It did because I was dreadfully drowsy.  However, I was still in excruciating pain. 

So off to the Emergency Room we went.  It was odd not going for my head.  But good, I guess.  As the triage nurse is taking my blood pressure I collapsed to the floor in pain and threw up again.  She asked where I hurt and touched my back in a spot that sent pain radiating through my body.  “Yep,” she said.  “It is your kidneys.”

I got a room and four sticks later they were FINALLY able to start an IV.  They gave me lots of fluids and morphine.  Mmm…morphine!    I had a CT to confirm their suspicions.  I have a kidney stone.  How is it that something so small can cause so much pain?  I also have a 5cm cyst on my ovary that could be increasing the pain I’m feeling from the kidney stone.

By the time we got home I was exhausted and went to bed.  Sarah went to get my prescription filled and I have some vague memory of her waking me to take a swig of liquid vicodin.  I was able to sleep the day away.

I had decided not to call my parents.  They are finally away and having fun.  Telling them would only make them worry about things.  They could wait and find out once they got home.  But, my brother didn’t know of my plans and filled my mother in on what was going on. 

It was comforting to talk to her.  After making sure I was ok her comment was, “Sounds like we picked the perfect weekend to leave the country!”  They will be home Monday morning and it won’t come soon enough.

I don’t like the stress of being in charge.  I’m almost 23 and all I wanted was one of my parents with me in the hospital.  I feel like such a baby and drama queen and I don’t even care.  I hurt so much…you don’t even know, trust me.  Ultimately, it was just the last straw of a very, very long weekend.

I am feeling a bit better and I just took a nice long shower.  I’m off to bed early and hoping I won’t be visiting the hospital again this weekend.  God truly is faithful.  He never gives us more than we can handle yet I always seem to forget that in the midst of things.  I wish I could be ever more mindful of that. 

My List

I was over the The Man Blog reading over a list I made when I was 16 that talks about what I’m looking for in a husband. You know what is amazing? Every one of those is still true. Wow. I rock like that.