MySpace

I’m back on MySpace to keep up with friends.

http://www.myspace.com/sweettexasjen

Please add me as your friend!

From What Privileges Do You Have?

I stole this from Jen’s blog.

From What Privileges Do You Have?, based on an exercise about class and privilege developed by Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, Stacy Ploskonka at Illinois State University. If you participate in this blog game, they ask that you PLEASE acknowledge their copyright.

Bold the true statements.

1. Father went to college.

2. Father finished college.

3. Mother went to college.

4. Mother finished college.

5. Have any relative who is was an attorney, physician, or professor.

6. Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers.

7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home.

8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home.

9. Were read children’s books by a parent.

10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18.

11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18.

12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively.

13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18.

14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs.

15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs.

16. Went to a private high school.

17. Went to summer camp.

18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18.

19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels.

20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18.

21. Your parents  bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them.

22. There was original art in your house when you were a child [kid’s work is original!]

23. You and your family lived in a single-family house.

24. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home.

25. You had your own room as a child.

26. You had a phone in your room before you turned 18.

27. Participated in a SAT/ACT prep course.

28. Had your own TV in your room in high school.

29. Owned a mutual fund or IRA in high school or college.

30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16.

31. Went on a cruise with your family.

32. Went on more than one cruise with your family.

33. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up.

34. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family.

Wow.  30 of 34.

“Jen and Bono have a one to one connection.”

So I went to see U2:3D with twenty friends from church on Friday night.  I honestly expected to enjoy myself but I wasn’t expecting too much since I have seen them from the front row.  That being said, I was blown away.

I’ve grown up seeing IMax films so the 3D thing was something I’d seen before.  However, this film took it to a completely different level.  I can’t even describe how awesome it was.

It is a bit strange seeing this film.  In movie you are expected to be quiet.  At concerts you are expected to be loud.  So how do you act?  The first time I went (and yes, I’ve seen it more than once) I rocked out.  I sang every song and spoke every work that came out of Bono’s mouth.  That would be what prompted my best friend Will to say, “Jen and Bono have a one to one connection.”  I bootleg enough that I even knew the somewhat “random” stuff that Bono said.

The point of this was that it truly is an awesome thing to see.  Go see it.

 

If it isn’t at an IMax near you it should be soon!  I know Houston was one of the cities that got it earlier than other cities.

You go, Mr. Williams!

My Week

People keep asking me how I’m doing.  I’m doing well.  I really am.  I think I’m still in the honeymoon period of dealing with being a binge drinker.  I’m psyched about all the meetings I’ve been to and all the things I’m reading.  I’m excited to be in recovery.  I fully expect this phase to pass.  It is only natural that I’d be excited right now as I’m starting.  But when it comes down to all the emotional processes I have to go through, and dealing head-on with the truth of who I am now, it might not be so fun and exciting.

One thing that is really hard about being in therapy is our group sessions.  I’ve realized that I really, really, really don’t like seeing people in pain.  Everyone there is going through, or has gone through, some really serious and painful stuff in their lives.  I have to fight the urge to jump up, run to them, and wrap my arms around them.  Really.  I do. 

When talking to a friend about hanging out this weekend she said we needed to because this week was “fricking exhausting!”  She is right.  Those are the perfect words to describe this week.  I’m emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally drained.  I’m tired and worn out.  I’d give anything to leave work and crawl into my bed.  However, I shall be heading to treatment and a group session tonight. 

Many people often feel shame in telling someone they are an alcoholic.  I didn’t feel shame.  I felt shame when I was an alcoholic and was hiding it.  What I felt in actually being truthful with all those that love me was such a completely exhilarating feeling.  It was such a weight lifted off my shoulders.  My father even told me he was proud of me for realizing I had a problem and seeking out help. 

My family has been amazing through this time.  They have loved me and stood by me.  They have told me the truth when I didn’t want to hear it and loved me even when I didn’t except it.  They have changed things in their life to help me heal.  They have changed things in their house to make it easier for our home to be a safe haven for me.  Their love makes me cry tears of complete unworthiness.  People suck.  And I’m a person.  And they still love me.

Tomorrow is Friday and it can’t come soon enough.  I’m finally getting my butt in a theater to see U2:3D and I’m excited to be doing it with friends from church.  I’m never going to stop being an alcoholic.  But I can stop drinking.  I can stop suffering.  I can start living….again.

 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

Hi. My name is Jennifer. I’m 23 and I’m an alcoholic.

After slowly drinking all of the alcohol in my parents house, and having alcohol ruin my relationship with my sister, I realized I had a problem.  I needed help.  I was tired of being secretive all the time about drinking (alone, in my room).  I was tired of being sick because I drank half a liter of vodka the night before.

Monday night after telling my parents I was an alcoholic we went to a rehab facility.  They did an assessment and I’m now going to Intensive Out Patient treatment for chemical dependency.  I go to treatment Monday-Thursday from 6-8:30pm.  I will do that for the next five weeks.  I will also be attending two AA meetings a week.  I’m so excited because I truly feel that this program will get to the heart of my drinking and my struggle with depression.  (Depression is ultimately what started my drinking.)

Please forgive me if you don’t see me as much.  These five weeks are going to be emotionally draining and exhausting.  I’d appreciate your prayers and I thank you for your continued support.

My close friendships have helped me through some really hard times.  I thank God every day for bringing you all into my life.

So, there it is.  I wanted you to know what was going on with me since I know some of you are worrying.  Plus, I really do believe that in sharing what I go through someday it might help someone else.

Best Ever Peanut Butter-Oatmeal-Chocolate Chip Cookies

So I’m stuck home today since we have painters here painting the upstairs study.. I’ve really been in the mood to cook lately but haven’t had a chance to get to the store and buy the things I need for a new soup recipe I really want to try. After looking through our kitchen and seeing what ingredients I had to work with (and discussing it with Dunhill) I decided I’d make some cookies. These are the fabulous cookies I made today. You should make some because they will knock your socks off. I think these are going to be my signature cookies.

Best Ever Peanut Butter-Oatmeal-Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 cup quick cooking oats, uncooked
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
¼ tsp. salt
1 cup butter
1 cup peanut butter
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
2 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla extract
1 package (12 oz,) semi-sweet chocolate chips

1. Preheat oven to 350°
2. In small bowl combine oats, flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt; set aside.
3. In large bowl, with electric mixer on medium speed, beat butter, and peanut butter until smooth.
4. Beat in sugars, then eggs and vanilla until blended. Beat in flour mixture just until blended, then stir in chocolate chips.
5. Drop dough two inches apart on greased baking sheets,
6. Bake 13 minutes or until golden. Remove cookies to wire rack to cool completely.

Prep time: 20 minutes
Cook time: 13 minutes
Yield: 4 dozen cookies

Your yield will be slightly less if your dog eats three dozen cookies worth of dough. (Dang you Dunhill! I knew I never should have discussed cookie making with you.)

And then something went terribly wrong…

My wonderfully eccentric father always has some new project he’s working on. His most recent projects have been making art out of organic materials (mainly beans and nuts), and making his own cigars.

In a strange twist of fate both of these projects have crossed paths…and not in a good way.

As some of the tobacco was drying in his temperature and humidity controlled master bathroom, he had nut art stored on a wine rack (winemaking was another project). He and his art partner have been in talks with a local gallery to show some of their pieces.

So here is what happened tonight: My father goes in to grab a sweater out of his room and finds it covered with larva. We aren’t talking about the tiny little kind of larva. We are talking massive, moth sized larva. Truly. They were big, fat, white, and at least an inch long. When I saw the larva covered sweater I gagged and wanted to hurl.

So apparently he thinks the moth eggs came in on the tobacco leaves, hatched, and found the beans and nuts to feast on. The whole thing is truly utterly disgusting. However, I admit the whole situation left my mother and I laughing so hard we had tears streaming down our faces; at last two of my father’s crazy ideas merged into something terribly wrong.

The art is in the garage, the tobacco is getting moved outside in the morning, and we are making a trip to the hardware store so we can seal and bomb their bedroom. For now my father has told me the larva would be heading up to my room (directly above his) since I was laughing so hard at his misfortune. This is something we will be laughing about…and talking about…for a while.

Albums I enjoyed in 2007

In order of release date.

Chanson du Vieux Carré by Harry Connick Jr.
All of a Sudden I Miss Everyone by Explosions in the Sky
Shock Value by Timbaland
Release the Stars by Rufus Wainwright
Memory Almost Full by Paul McCartney
Photograph: The Very Best of Ringo Starr by Ringo Starr
Graduation by Kayne West
Revival by John Fogerty
The Flying Club Cup by Beirut
Make Sure They See My Face by Kenna
Blackout by Britney Spears
American Gangster by Jay-Z
Sawdust by The Killers
Red Carpet Massacre – Duran Duran
Alone: The Home Recordings of Rivers Cuomo by Rivers Cuomo

Yuck!

(As a side note before I actually start the post, if I was Rachel Ray this post would have been titled “Yucko!”  Gosh…I can’t stand her.  Ugh!)

So where were we?!  Ahh…yes… Tonight my mouth with have one less tooth in it.  It is weird parting with parts of your body.  However, I think I’ll let my cracked, infected wisdom tooth go.  Actually, I hope to be so sedated that I won’t even notice it leaving my mouth.

I’m dreading this.  I’m already feeling some serious anxiety and it is just putting a damper on my week.  I didn’t sleep last night because I was in so much pain.  I feel like I should name it so I can say goodbye or something.  

I long for sleep.  And a mouth that isn’t in pain.